remembered love
daedric prince / JustAWriter
#1
She was still in a half asleep stupor but the bed was absolute perfection. Wrapped in the blankets and the air too cool for her to move outside of her protective shell, except for... One issue. Though she could still fee his warmth on his side of the bed and his spot blank, her arm reaching out hoping he had simply moved away to the edge of the bed. It found instead cold air outside the blanket as she groaned and turned over in the bed. They had been together for such a short time romantically, but Arthur had been her best friend her entire life. They'd been just children and she had never thought about him as more than that, had never thought there would ever be more...

Until there was.

The feelings that had sat dormant within her blossomed like a flower, a gentle sprout of hope that had led to them making passionate love. She'd fallen asleep in his arms, a vast difference from the casual space that had always been between them when she'd spent the night before. But now... Everything had changed. She slid slowly from the warmth of the bed into both cold air and the uncertain future, her mind clearing as she forced herself out of her comfort zone.

She could hear him distantly talking in just the other room, her curiosity getting the best of her. Lina's feet moved slow as she walked to the door, listening to his conversation with her breath held. He was... Cancelling his trip. His plans. He was supposed to go away, to improve his life so much. Her heart clenched in her chest, eyes moving away from him to the floor. He... He couldn't. No. This was his future, his life, his... His everything.

Lina covered her mouth softly to stop the noise threatening to come out of her throat. He couldn't...

But it also meant that she couldn't. She couldn't let him do this to himself, couldn't let him throw away everything he had worked so hard for him to build. She let out a soft whimper once she sat herself back into the bed, pulling the covers around her shoulders. She wanted to sink back into the feeling she'd had as she'd stirred awake, or even the passionate and loving emotions of the night before. But no, there was nothing left but body heat... And his smell.

She couldn't let him do this.
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]
#2
Arthur didn’t know the first time He knew it for sure but, for him, it had always been there. In the way his hearth raced when He saw her for the first time, and how it never bothered him to share his milkshake with her just to see her happy. With time, it became more intense, a weird feeling in the stomach that would never stop when they were together, and how her giggles were the best sound He could think of. For him, She was home. And one day, He realized it was love. Once He named the feeling, it was harder to ignore it. And sometimes He would forget how to breath when She was too close. But He couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t risk losing her. He just couldn’t.

And then life happens, and before He realized, she was slipping through his fingers. They planned on moving to college together, but She decided to stay in their hometown when her dad got sick. And all his plans suddenly felt hollow without her in them. And that’s why He was willing to stay, He wanted to stay. If She only knew how He felt, if She only felt the same.

The night before He left, the words and the feelings flooded out of him like an wild river, without asking for permission, and He was shocked, when She reached out and kissed him. Touching her and holding her body so close made him feel complete, and when He woke up the next morning, with her delicate naked body laying next to him on the bed, He didn’t hesitate on cancelling every one of his plans for her. But when He came back into the room after making the calls, to tell her He wasn’t leaving, He found her sitting on the bed, her face emotionless.
#3
Lina could feel him staring at her from the doorway, the blankets wrapped around her still as if she could keep herself contained in them. She couldn't meet his eyes, couldn't even look at him as she let out a soft sigh, "Arthur, we need to talk..." She murmured, clutching the blankets softly as she shifted in the sheets, "I... Last night was a mistake. We shouldn't have... I shouldn't have... Have led you on." The words felt harsh coming from her lips, but it was a lie she needed him to believe.

"I'm sorry, I'm just... I panicked last night and I lied. We've been friends for so long that I was scared and... Things got out of control." All good lies had a seed of truth and she knew that this one, too, was included. It was a mistake, but not for her to admit to him how she felt. It was a mistake to hold it in, to stop herself from feeling for him. But he needed to go. His life was ahead of him.

"I'm sorry."
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]
#4
Staring at her, her body looking even smaller wrapped on his blankets, He felt like He had been hit by a truck. In fact, He believed it would have been definitely less painful than what was happening. Ironically, it was worse than He ever thought it would be. He always knew there was a chance, a big chance, She wouldn’t feel the same. But He never, not even in his worst nightmares, imagined it would happen this way. His body was tense, his teeth clenched tightly as He desperately tried to meet her eyes with his own. He needed Lina to look at him, they He would see She was lying and it was just a mean joke. Her eyes would never let her lie. He wanted to take her face between his hands, and make her look at him, but his body didn’t move. This couldn’t be true. How could He let go of her now? How could He move away after having her so close? How could him tell himself it was a mistake, if He never felt more right in his life. For several minutes, He just stared at her. Her words hitting the same spot on his chest over and over again, making a lump form on his throat, making it harder to breath. When She finally looked up at him, the painfull question escaped his lips. “Lina, do you love me?” He asked. And once He heard the answer, He slowly nodded and walked away. He felt dead inside, and life since then became just existence. When He came back home after walking for a few hours, She wasn’t there anymore. And He didn’t say goodbye. That same night, when He got in the airplane, He felt like his hearth was left behind.
#5
"Lina, do you love me?"

It felt like a knife had been put in her chest and suddenly her mouth was dry, her eyes staring down at the blankets as she tried her best to think of what wouldn't be lie. Her eyes forced themselves to meet his, holding his gaze for a long time. There was a moment when she nearly told him the truth, that she loved him with everything in her being and more and wanted a future with him, wanted the typical life of marriage and kids and joy everlasting...

But she couldn't hold him back. He couldn't have that if he stayed here.

"I do love you, Arthur... As a friend."

A half-truth never hurt anyone but this may as well have been a murder. He left her with only her guilt and the blankets wrapped around her. She'd had enough sense to leave.

Without him, the town that they had grown up in wasn't the same. The places that had once been warm with familiarity were now haunted with his memories, her body empty as she attempted to keep her life together. It stung to know that he had left without so much as a conversation beyond what they'd had, had just gone without saying good bye and left behind... Ghosts. Only ghosts of the past.

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *

Three years passed. They were not particularly good years, or even easy years, but three years had passed and she hadn't gotten over him. There was a defined moment in her life where she knew she had messed up and couldn't take her words back, a moment in which everything had changed and turned her bright future into something sour. Life had given her a curve ball but the worst had happened completely unexpectedly.

She crashed.

Not metaphorically, but quite literally.

And now, the memories weren't an issue. The ghost of best friend past didn't haunt her, but at the cost of everything.

Lina woke up to see unfamiliar faces looming over her in a sterile room, her eyes moving from person to person as they hugged her and assaulted her with their love. They were crying, happy, and nearly screaming. She couldn't think. Her head was pounding and her breathing was hard, her chest tight.

"Honey, we were so scared... They thought you might not wake up..." The woman that was crying the most stroked her hair, wiping away tears before putting her hand now on Lina's shoulder.

"I... I'm sorry... Who are you?"
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]
#6
Existing. Arthur felt like He was just existing, forcing himself to survive each day at a time, even if He felt dead inside. Three years had passed, in slow days and torturing nights. The first year was the worse, but as time passed, the empty feeling became familiar, and He got used to the pain.

He managed to put his life back together, or at least, that's what it looked like to anyone who looked from outside. He dropped college, and started his own business, which He was surprisingly good at. Working, that was the way he found to fill up the annoying hole and the stubborn pain he felt inside.

He did his best to forget. And maybe that's when He lost himself. Every memory He had was filled with her, and when He forced himself to forget her, He forgot himself. And He managed to keep her ghost away. Except during the night, when He could remember every single thing, every small detail of that night and the morning after.

Now, three years later, He was a successful and important CEO, one of the youngest and the wealthiest, He was declared the most promising businessman in the past two years. It was enough noise in his life for him to ignore his mind.
Until He got the phone call that made everything silent, a painfull silence that pierced the inside of his ears and assaulted his mind. Listening her name after all that time, was like being stabed, and the hearing the senteces that followed it was like the knife was being twisted in his heart.
"Lina... Lina got in a car crash" He could hear the words of her mom echoing in his mind while He got a flight back to their hometown. The trauma made her lose her memory, the woman explained they didn't know how much of it yet. "But She asked for you". She said, and Arthur felt the world spin too fast
#7
Life, shockingly, was better without memories. There was something that tickled at the back of her mind, a whisper of a memory that wanted desperately to come back. At times it felt like it was at the tip of her tongue, screaming to get out. Images, words, a whisper in her ear all felt so familiar and yet so distant. The people around her were strangers wearing familiar skins but strangers nonetheless.

Her world was chaos.

But there was one constant -- him. Though when she woke his name was nothing more than an echo, she talked about him in her sleep. Her memories were dim but powerful enough that even the cloud of injury couldn't break them. She'd called for him more than once in her sleep and her dreams were filled with what she did remember. The softness of his touch, the warmth of his voice and... Darkness. Her memories were always far too brief.

Her mother wasn't strong enough to stay with her through the healing process, her father grim but stoic as he stood by her bedside. It was him that finally made her mother reach out, pressing her to urge Arthur to come. He'd watched Lina toss in her sleep, restless and trying to connect with her friend again. It had given him a spark of hope that maybe one unchanged memory could bring her back.
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]
#8
The next hours after the phone call passed like a loud blur in Arthur's mind. It was like everything was spinning way too fast, and He couldn't keep his balance. After a few phone calls and the one hour flight, which felt like several hours, He found himself back in his hometown. Years had passed since the last time He stepped in there. The intense traffic to the hospital made him clench his teeth, and his shoulders become more tense as He tapped the steering wheel in annoyance. It was like a hill had been put over his shoulders, and it was slowly and painfully crushing him.

When He finally arrived to the hospital, He could barely breath. The air felt heavy, making the lump in his throat grow bigger, the antiseptic smell making his lungs burn. The first person He saw was her father, He looked exhausted, and still, He gave Arthur a smile, giving him one of those handshakes that turn into a hug and pats in the back. He took Arthur down the corridor, before they finally got to her room. Her mom stared at them when they walked in, and maybe Arthur would have noticed the almost hostile look in her eyes, if He his eyes weren't locked in the small girl laying down on the bed. Lina was almost as He remembered her, her body had grown larger curves, but She was still small. She had bruises and small cuts in her skin, and her body looked sore in the way She was laying down, making her figure look even more fragile. She was sleeping.

The couple talked to him for what seemed to be long minutes, outside the room, standing in the hall. The doctor helped them to explain Lina's condition, and He listened carefully to every word, his heart sinking deeper and deeper into his chest with each of them. When the mom gave in, her eyes softened and She cried in Arthur's arms. He convinced them to go rest and eat, as they had been there for the past days without a break. But He stayed. Sitting down in the armchair next to Lina's bed, He was still wearing the same suit from the meeting earlier that day, but the top part of it was gone, leaving him in the white dress up shirt. His face was tired and concerned, darkening his eyes and his expression, making He look even older. His black charcoal hair was messier than usual, as He kept running his hand through it, an habit when He was exasperated.
#9
It was such a helpless feeling to be a parent to a child that didn't recognize you. Even as Lina slept it was nearly heartbreaking for her mother to watch her child, knowing that when she woke up it would be the same empty and nearly blank stare when they talked about all of the parts of her childhood she couldn't remember. The woman had been nearly desperate in her need for her child to remember something -- anything -- but it was still so close to the accident that memories were... Difficult, to say the least. Often times she even fought against there having been a life prior to it.

The woman's heart was in her chest as she watched Arthur from outside the room, her hand over her mouth as her daughter's eyelids fluttered. There was a moment in which she was sure that Lina would open her eyes and be Lina, but there was no soft music in the background and no announcer coming to say in a calm voice that she had returned and would suddenly be back to normal.

Instead, she sat up slowly in the bed, looking at her closest friend as if he were something strange and mysterious, her brow furrowing as she struggled to put words together. "I... You..." She tried to rub at her temples, her lips then pressing together in a hard line, "I... Thought you left?" She asked finally, confusion and frustration in her voice.
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]
#10
When He heard the soft and familiar voice fill the room in a small mumble, his eyes immediately drifted to find her. Lina's expression was confused, and He watched her force her body to sit up with some difficult, Arthur getting up and instantly making his way towards the bed. "Hey, stranger... Easy there. Please, Lina" He murmured, his eyes concerned as the girl kept moving in the bed. 

Lina's next words felt like He had been stabbed, and now She was slowly swirling the knife in his chest, opening the bleeding wound. "I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry, Lina. I'm here now" He said slowly and quietly, staring into her eyes. And then He blinked, frowning slightly as it hit him. "You remember me.." He whispered, exasperated, running both of his hands through his hair. "You remember me?" He repeated.

He really wanted to believe Lina remembered him, when her mother called and told him that Lina had called his name. But He had been so overwhelmed by everything thay had happened in the last hours, He barely had time to think about it. And when her mom cried, telling him that her daughter couldn't remember her, He thought He was unlike to be the only thing She would remember. And now, there She was. Her expression was lost and confused, but there was something in her eyes, the familiar sparkle, that made him hopefull again.
#11
He looked different. She couldn't place what it was in his face that was strange but something about him looked horribly.... Off. He didn't look the way he had just the night before, her eyes narrowing as she tried to pinpoint just what was wrong. Instead, she found herself loving the familiarity of his face, adoring the curve of his lips and his... His eyes. It was like she was seeing him again for the first time and falling in love with him again.

"How could I forget you?" She breathed, the notion sounding absurd to her as she shifted in the bed, cringing as her head felt like a hammer had slammed into it. Her hand moved up to cup the bandages tenderly, "They're being ridiculous. They've kept me here for so long. i told them that I was just... I was just faint. I must have fainted. I don't remember it but... I must have." She offered him a smile after a moment, reaching out her hand.

"Are you just gonna be a stranger or are you gonna come here? I need a hug. It's been awful. I think my parents sent people from the church to watch over me and they won't leave." She motioned to her own parents, "The lady's an absolute wreck. I think something's going on with her. She keeps crying."
"You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain... Will make the flowers grow"
[Image: FbuCdrz.png]


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